ask a girl out as a dare
or a boy
because that’s shitty as fuck
i almost got arrested when i was 7 because i was putting that fake snow stuff in plastic sandwich baggies and giving them to all my friends and more and more kids would come to me asking for snow and one of the kid’s parents found it and they thought it was cocaine so they called the police on us and they literally thought that a 7 year old girl had created an underground drug distributing system
Shakespeare would seriously laugh so hard if he found out how seriously people take his works. Like, he would probably cry from laughing so hard if you told him that his plays were considered high-brow literature. “It’s all dick jokes and sword fights,” he’d say, “do they seriously tell my dick jokes to schoolchildren? And the kids aren’t allowed to laugh? Do the teachers know they’re telling dick jokes? Oh my god that’s fucking hilarious. Wait until I tell Anne.”
it is september 20th, the technical start of the autumn season. you sigh to yourself, letting the baseball cap in your hands fall to the ground. it’s no longer summer. your hat is off your head, and not worn backwards. it is no longer time to fucking party.