My dad thinks I'm funny

generalbooty:

yeah so i slept with this dude last night and idk we were chatting a bit  during the sexy time and for some reason his birthday came up and i was like “wait 25th of september? DUDE me TOO, wtf thats such a coincidence” and he was like “really? we have the same birthday? are u fuckin with me?” and i just looked down at his penis literally inside my vagina and was like “well technically yeah” and he was like haha nice one and high fived me

joetrohnam:

my mom always lets me mash the potatoes because it helps me deal with my feelings 

ridge:

i hate it when people call me funny because I feel like I have to say something really funny again and I just can’t handle that pressure

officialfrenchtoast:

*holds your hand* 

ha ha how’d that get there

nibit:

420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through

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